Am I pathetic?

what I mean, well, I'm 39 (hard to believe) and no marriage never, no relationship, just a bunch of annoying dating and one big platonic affair that broke my heart. most people find me beautiful and get all excited to date me, but i guess it doesn't work. so what is that? a lost cause? or keep fighting for this real and solid relationship? the fact that I am an author I thought would be attractive, but whatdoyouknow? most men freak out. deep down I say 'fcuk them' and keep going. what do you think?