When does life get good?

You seem really pessimistic. It also seems like your to good for life and the people around you. Also life is probably so horrible to you because you do what everyone tells you is best; live your life a do what you want to do. When it comes to marriage it seems like your trapped in the what ifs. If your always worrying, questioning the future, and pessimistic of couse you won't enjoy your life. It might be an internal struggle that makes you think this way. Maybe you don't feel good enough or something along those lines. I'd say it's best for you to build a stronger relationship with god; as a result you will build a stronger relationship with yourself.